Covenant Groups
Spirit of the Covenant Group
The covenant group meets in a spirit of offering our experiences to one another, not claiming truth, but offering from ourselves. When one offers experience, the person to whom the experience is offered accepts the offering according to how well it fits his or her own experience. If it doesn't fit it may be rejected without any indication of error by he or she who has made the offer. By taking this approach to sharing, there is no right or wrong, better or worse, just simple sharing of experience, and of one another's lives, rather than claiming the truth or falsity of ideas and theories.
Overview
Covenant groups offer the opportunity to share what is going on in your life with others, and to be present for others to share with you. As a result, covenant groups provide a more intimate setting for members to gather together and get to know one another in a deeper way than would happen at any other kind of Fellowship gathering.
In Covenant group meetings, we gather together, making a sincere effort to start on time. We ask that what is said in Covenant group stay in covenant group, and we allow people space to talk when it is their turn, without interruptions. It is OK to ask a person to clarify or expand on something they said, although usually one should save such a request until after the speaker finishes talking. We do not directly address the issues that other raise, but it is OK to speak indirectly to issues raised by others by speaking of your own related experinces.
We start with a reading and lighting of the chalice. This is followed by asking everyone to check in and let the group know how things are going in your life. Following check in we draw a discussion topic from out of the hat (so to speak). Potential discussion topics can be contributed by any Covenant Group member at any meeting. We take an initial round around the circle, giving everyone an opportunity to speak. We then go around a second time (not necessarily in order) and offer additional opportunities to speak. Once we have talked ourselves out, we do a closing checkout, and then end with a reading and putting out the chalice.
Elements of Covenant Groups
Size. The ideal covenant group size is eight to ten people. The group should have at least three or four people plus the facilitator and never more than twelve, including the facilitator.
Frequency of meetings. The group should meet at least once a month and may meet twice a month or even weekly in someone’s home or at church (if a quiet, private, living room-like setting is regularly available).
Format. The format must combine worshipful and/or centering readings or rituals and personal check-in periods at the start and at the end. (See the recommended format below.)
Facilitators. A facilitator is a person chosen by a small steering committee. The designated leader then facilitates a covenant group for facilitators so that the training is ongoing and shared.
Empty Chair. Always keep at least one chair empty, to symbolize those not yet reached who need us and to suggest the expectation that a new group will be “born from” this group when membership gets to ten or so.
Covenants. During the second meeting, agree on a behavioral covenant—on how members wish to be with each other. Later, agree on at least one service to perform for the church each year. Twice a year, find a way of doing, as a group, something beneficial in the larger community.
Standard Format
• An opening reading from a Unitarian Universalist or related source (our hymn book contains enough material to sustain a covenant group for many, many months).
• A check-in period during which each person is asked to briefly state his or her answer to a question such as, What’s on your mind today? What do you need to leave behind for a couple of hours in order to be fully present here?
• A time for the focus or purpose of the meeting. The topic or activity can be whatever the group prefers, so long as it is consistent with our Purposes and Principles and the mission of the sponsoring congregation. This is a time for sharing our thoughts and feelings, not for debating theories and ideas.
• The closing check-out. The facilitator asks each person to comment on how she or he is feeling as the meeting draws to an end.
• A closing reading from a Unitarian Universalist or related source.